Saturday, November 24, 2012

Ten Important Life Lessons I Learned from the Book the Kardashian Sisters "Wrote"

I’m not even going to bother to summarize the “plot” of this book, because there wasn’t one. I will tell you that Kourtney, Kim and Khloe wrote a book about three sisters named Kassidy, Kamille, and Kyle, and that every single thing that happens mirrors their real lives in some way. I also have a hard time believing the Kardashian sisters are capable of coming up with any type of original content or ideas, so I’m sure 99% of this book is autobiographical.

photo

I know it says $1.00 in the picture, but I got it for $0.75 on Half.com. I bought it as a joke birthday gift for one of my co-workers. Soon it will be out of my life forever.

Anyway, here are all the things this book taught me:

1. Just because you're poor doesn't mean you're allowed to be furry and ugly.

2. Fishnets and skull chokers are SO yesterday.

3. Money is power, and no money means no power. ("It was a lesson that haunted her to this day and seriously made her want to scream and throw things - at walls, at people.")

4. Date guys who are on Twitter so you can spy on them easier.

5. If you have to pee but there’s a long line in the bathroom, pour out some gin while you’re peeing on the floor to mask the smell. (Page 28.)

6. Shoplifting is like playing an Xbox game, for real.

7. This is what it looks like when Kardashians talk about Shakespeare:

lol

8. These are words: superannoying, superexpensive, supercool, superhungry, ultrasuccessful, superquick, supersmart, supernice, superinteresting, nonwedding, superfamous, supermad, vomitacious.

9. If you want to know what the temperature is outside, go to the weather website.

10. You can write a book about nothing with no plot and get it published if you’re a (super)famous airhead.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here lamenting the loss of the brain cells this book stole from me.

4 comments:

  1. I'm impressed you actually got through the whole thing, it sounds utterly painful. Hilarious though!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I didn't even know this book existed. Hilarious!

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