Thursday, December 15, 2011

Preamble: I’m Home Now

I was looking through some stuff in my closet tonight trying to find a folder I had put together years ago of emails Elizabeth and I sent each other during middle school and early high school. She wanted to put some surely scandalous things we wrote each other about Elijah Wood (we were going to marry him probably, okay?).

Unfortunately (HA) I can’t find it. I seem to have ”lost” it (i.e. threw it away out of embarrassment).

However, I did find a story we tried to write together, and I have decided to share it with you.

I can’t be sure, but I have some recollection of us trying to do this during free time at Awana Scholarship Camp (which I forced her to come to with me, because of all the hot dudes) (yes I know it’s a Christian camp, but I was 14, and my priorities reflected as such). One of us would start a story and then we’d pass it on and the other person would write some more, and back and forth like that. I’m not sure how long this game lasted, as this particular story is only two pages. Elizabeth started this one, so if you don’t think much of the storyline, take it up with her. It’s about some girl with a mom who is “a very British woman” and soon she gets to go to London. And her name is Sandra, for some reason.

It was very hard for me not to make this less stupid as I was typing it up. I’m posting this at great embarrassment to myself and probably also to Elizabeth, and considering I know actual British people who read this blog, I don’t even know why I’m doing this. Just keep in mind that when I say we were fourteen, I mean we were very, very fourteen.


April 23, 20 – (ed.: because if anything needs to be timeless, it’s this story)

Dear Diary,

Guess what happened today: Tony kissed me! (ed.: “kissed” is underlined several times for emphasis) Can you believe it? Of course, you’re a diary – it’s your job to believe me!

I wonder if he’ll ask me to go steady – or if he’s just being a guy.

Can’t wait till we leave for London, diary! I’m so excited! Maybe I’ll even get to meet the queen! I can always dream…

(The diary stuff stops)

Sandra looked up from her journal and sighed. London. It sounded so big and faraway and – exciting. She lifted her dark eyes to her dresser. Her gaze lighted upon a picture of her and Danille Danielle, making weird faces for her mom’s camera. She wrinkled her nose. “Not very distinguished looking,” she criticized aloud.


“Who?” asked a voice. She turned and saw her mom in the door, smiling.

“Oh, just…” she shrugged, “me.”

Her mom, a very British woman, come to America as a teenager, looked at the photo. “Oh you look fabulous.” (ed.: How’s that for some skilled background exposition?)

Sandra sighed, then smiled. “I can’t wait to go to London!”

Mom sat down on the floor beside her and hugged her. “You’ll love it!” she said. “You just have to get over that boyfriend of yours long enough for us to have fun. We’re going to be gone for three weeks, you know.”

“Yes, I know… I’ll be so homesick for him. And he’s not really my boyfriend yet, just… sort of a fling at the moment.” She grinned. “But I’m hopeful.”


“Yes well – don’t get too attached! You might meet someone.”

What? A BRITISH guy? Gimme a break!” (ed.: HAHAHAHA)

“Now Sandra,” “What’s wrong with British guys?” her mother raised her eyes in surprise. (ed.: Elizabeth your handwriting is horrible.)

“Come on!”

“Come on, Mom! What American girl thinks about Englishmen?”

“Well,” a smile pulled at the corners of her mother’s mouth. “Alot of Yanks were enamoured with the Beatles in my day.”

Mother! The Beatles! Are you crazy? They’re old! You gotta give me a name from today, not a blast from the past!(ed.: Please note that Elizabeth was obsessed with the Beatles at this time. Overwhelmingly obsessed. She made me watch Help!.)

“It wasn’t that long ago!” protested Mother.


“No, not for you, but I wasn’t born yet.” (ed.: Elizabeth underlined that word.)


“Just the same, keep don’t close your mind to the idea.”


“OK, mom, whatever.”

Her mom smiled and left her alone with her diary.

The next day


A week later, (and a tearful good-bye to Tony) and Sandra, Danielle, and Mrs. Conley boarded a non-stop flight to London, England. (ed.: That sentence sucks, Elizabeth.)

That’s the end. What a cliffhanger, right? I can’t believe we never returned to such a compelling narrative. We never even met Danielle, who presumably would have been a main character, or Tony, the boyfriend who was probably destined to be ditched for (GASP) a probably hot and probably British guy, who probably listened to The Beatles, even though they’re old.

I would also like to point out that when it says “alot” up there, that is not a typo.

I do have to say I enjoy that my fourteen year old self had Sandra’s mom encouraging her daughter to skank it up on their trip. Boyfriends are lame, Sandra! You never know who you’ll find to “kiss” in London!

Anyway, here’s some photographic evidence.



I hope you underline this many words in your post-graduate papers, Elizabeth.

In other news, this is currently the greatest thing on the internet:

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Oh, You Wanted to Sleep In?


“Yes, we are being as loud as possible doing who knows what.”

That's the view from my bed (air mattress) featuring the noise that woke me up this morning far earlier than I would have preferred. And it's still going on, by the way.

Update, I’m leaving on the 13th. Hopefully for good. Fingers are crossed that the people we have interested in taking over my half of the lease are willing to commit to it in the next couple of days. Either way, I will soon be back in Colorado for Christmas and hockey and family time and cats. I cannot wait.

And the good news is, my parents’ house already got a new roof last summer, so I won’t have to deal with this ridiculous noise.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Turkey Cake

UPDATE: I’m still in California. My departure looms ever closer, but as of today, Thanksgiving 2011, I am still here. Just hanging out. On a major holiday. All by myself.

Instead of sitting around doing nothing all day, like I do on most other days, I decided to go to Point Dume State Beach. You may not have heard the name, but you’ve probably seen it before.

Oh, uh… spoiler alert I guess.

Anyway, it’s that beach.

Rather than write up a whole thing about what I did down there, I made a video. Here it is:

I forgot to record anything interesting about when I went up to the top of that cliff (the one the Statue of Liberty is right next to in Planet of the Apes) but I took some pictures, so here, now you can look at those:



This is a picture I took with the Pano app on my iPhone, it got a little messed up on the right side but it looks pretty decent otherwise, and you can kind of get an idea of what the view was like.


And here’s where the Statue of Liberty will be someday. (I completely forgot about that movie while I was there, by the way. I’m sure I would have said something in the video about it as I was walking down the actual stretch of beach where they filmed that scene if I had remembered. Oh well.)



Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, and if you were wondering, here's the video Elizabeth posted of the turkey chasing the lady. For the record, it might look like I overreacted to one seagull creeping on me, but shortly after I turned the camera off, hundreds more showed up. So yes, I felt that I was legitimately being swarmed in that moment.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Lingering Summer

I went for a walk today while I was waiting for my laundry to finish. It was cloudy, and I got rained on a bit, but I didn’t mind.

I took some pictures, because for the most part the weather has continued to be very warm and California-esque while other parts of the country and world are falling into winter. While I wish I was somewhere with snow, I’m sure a lot of people are wishing they were somewhere like California, so here are some pictures that might help you pretend for a few moments that you are.







It poured last night, so this sign took somewhat of a beating, but that doesn’t change the validity of the sentiment:


It says "Thank you soldiers for fighting for America" and also, randomly, "Chloe"

And here’s a yard with a bunch of stuff in it:


Hope the weather today wherever you are is just the way you like it.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Hockey in Disney Town

Since I’ve decided to get out of California as soon as I can manage it, I’ve had a mental list of things I want to do before I leave. On this list were visits the Staples Center and Honda Center, where the Kings and Ducks play (respectively). My plan obviously was to see the Avalanche play away games at these rinks, but as I’m now leaving before the first time the Avs make a trip out to California, I had to settle for some games I was nowhere close to being emotionally invested in.

I already talked about how boring the Oilers/Kings game was (you know, where the Kings got shut out and the guy in front of me fell asleep). Wednesday I went to see the Nashville Predators play the Ducks in Anaheim, and I made an afternoon out of it.

Let’s talk about the most enjoyable part of that day first.

This is a grilled cheese sandwich made with waffles.



This comes from a sandwich place called Bruxie. I heard about this place from a friend and when I looked it up and saw something called a “Cheesy Bruxie” on the menu, I knew it was just a matter of time before I would be eating there. Waffle sandwiches. Can't pass that up.

I would say this grilled cheese gets mega points for creativity, and it definitely tasted wonderful and was toasted to perfection. Only complaint, I would have liked a little more cheese. I got a side of waffle fries with it (naturally) and they were incredibly tasty as well. Overall this was a pretty great eating experience. The seating was all outdoors and it was a beautiful evening to sit outside and enjoy a waffle sandwich. There was even a guy who walked by and waved at me (not sure if he thought he knew me or if he just thought I was hot - my hair did look really great that day, so who knows). Cheesy Bruxie gets a 9 out of 10. I kind of want to figure out what the best kind of waffle would be to make my own.

Side note, here’s the receipt:


Check 303. I think it’s a sign. (For those who don’t know, 303 is a Colorado area code… and I just realized you do all probably know that, because of the horrible band from Boulder. Well, either way. I liked seeing the number show up.)

Anyway, then I went to the Preds/Ducks game. Anaheim is a really pretty area (at least what I saw of it was nice) but I feel like the entire town is permeated with Disney. It’s like you can smell it in the air.


I will say one thing: finding a place to park was incredibly easy.

A bunch of people with signs like this were outside for some reason:


The other side said “GOD LOVES YOU” so at least they weren’t, you know, those other people who call themselves Christians and hold up signs. As far as I saw, these people weren’t screaming or verbally abusing anyone, so that was nice.

The view from my seat:


This jumbotron made me feel a little bit better about the one the Pepsi Center has, even though it’s still probably newer.

The Kings have the best jumbotron though:


Look at that thing. It’s gorgeous. Either some Avs fans need to come help me steal that thing and take it back to Denver (it’ll totally fit in my Scion XA, no problem) OR we need to figure out how to get a wildly successful NBA team to start playing in the Pepsi Center so someone will actually buy one for us.

Looking at that picture and comparing it to the one of the Honda Center, I realize you can see the ridiculous amount of fog they pump into the Staples Center. It was so hazy and weird. My guess was that this is to make residents of LA feel more comfortable by simulating the air they normally breathe when they go outside.

Anyway... the Ducks lost 4-2, but because they didn’t get shut out like the Kings did, I got to experience their completely awesome goal horn, which is a foghorn you can feel all the way down to the depths of your soul. Here’s a recording of it. So now just imagine that magnified by about a billion, and you still don’t know what it’s like. It was awesome.

I also got to see a penalty shot in person for the first time! It ended up being the game winner.

So it was fun and worth the trip. I still left early. Traffic, you know how it is. Also neither of them were my team so I didn’t and still don’t feel bad. (I never leave Avs games early. Not ever. I wouldn’t even do that if they were losing like, 9-1 or something crazy like that!) (That happened.)

Now that I’ve been to Staples and Honda, I’ve officially been to the same number of NHL rinks as I have been to MLB stadiums (Coors Field, Petco Park, and Dodger Stadium). I’ve decided to make it a project when I’m old and rich to go to a hockey game at every arena in the NHL. Until then, I’m pretty sure my grand total is going to stay at three unless I end up in Dallas, St. Louis or Phoenix any time soon (those will be the closest ones to me after I move back to Denver). (It would have to be really soon for Phoenix, because who knows how much longer that’s even going to be an NHL arena…)

I thought about making the trip up to San Jose to see a Sharks game, but tickets were too expensive even on StubHub. So the HP Pavilion will have to wait.

Okay, that’s enough rambling hockey talk that you definitely didn’t read. Here’s a song.

You probably won’t regret watching this.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Choose Your Own Adventure

Have you guys heard of Donald Miller? He’s this guy who wrote some books one time. He also has a twitter, and recently he tweeted this:


It’s so cool God lets us choose our own adventure.

I can’t stop thinking about this.

Since this whole Los Angeles debacle started, I have grown increasingly frustrated with all things related to my faith. I majored in film at school with the idea in mind that I would move out to California and become a TV writer. Now I’m here. Half the battle, according to sources, is just being here. I’ve already made it farther than so many others do. Hooray for me.

So why don’t I want it anymore? I thought God was the one who gave me that desire in the first place, I thought he was the one who was leading me out here. And I thought this was going to make me happy. I thought I was going to feel fulfilled just by being here.

That feeling never came. I just felt far away. From everything. /emo

I’ve been trying very diligently to not get upset with God through all of this, due to what I’ve up until now perceived as his oh-so-hilarious method of getting me to realize that this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing and my grand purpose lies elsewhere! (“All of this” being, specifically, moving out here, spending all my money and more of my parents’ money, being lonely and sad, paying too much for gas, and sleeping on an air mattress for three months.)

There is a path to things that I can sort of see, where this led me to that which let me to over there where I met those people, and I wouldn’t backtrack any of it. I just wish now, in hindsight, that I hadn’t decided to come out to California. Just that one thing I wish I could change. And I’ve been very annoyed with God for letting me go through with that.

It’s so cool God lets us choose our own adventure.

I remember before I got into this screenwriting program I’ve been in, I informed my parents that my backup plan if I didn’t get in was grad school, where I wanted to get my masters in Sports and Entertainment Marketing. I had already done the research and marveled at how much cheaper a state school degree was going to be than the private school education I’m going to spend the rest of my life paying for. My parents were (and are, always) supportive of me pursuing this (which is great considering I am about to move back into their house to do so).

And I remember, briefly, feeling like maybe grad school would be a better use of my time than the California thing. But I pushed that idea away because that’s not what you’re supposed to do, Sarah! That’s not what GOD wants you to do!

Well, six months later, I’m pretty confident that I don’t really know what God wants me to do. I DO know that he doesn’t want me to be miserable, and that’s what I’ve been since I opted for “MOVE TO CALIFORNIA, TURN TO PAGE 47.”

I used to love those Choose Your Own Adventure books in elementary school. We were all obsessed with them, and I know everyone in my class had read all the ones the library had by the time we left for middle school (though I can’t say I remember what any of them were now, a million years later). I haven’t seen one of these books in forever, so I looked them up and found a huge list of all of them. Some of the summaries are pretty priceless (these aren’t official summaries, they were written by the person who put the list together):

BY BALLOON TO THE SAHARA: You travel from France to Africa in a balloon, accompanied by your friends Peter and Sarah and a dog named Harry.

YOU ARE A SHARK: Your hike through Nepal leads you into a forbidden temple. As punishment for your intrusion, you must survive in the forms of several different animals in order to earn your freedom.

TROUBLE ON PLANET EARTH: You and your psychic brother Ned investigate the disappearance of all of Earth's oil.

SEASIDE MYSTERY: Your boring summer is enlivened somewhat by the involvement of a mermaid.

1. Not a very creative title; also, a dog named Harry? Really? Also, I hope nothing bad happened to Sarah at any point in that book.
2. That happens to me all the time when I’m hiking through Nepal. They should really make those forbidden temples harder to get into if hapless tourists can just stumble inside and get turned into sharks.
3. I wonder if Ned can also make pies and touch dead people to bring them back to life?

(I may or may not have paused in writing this post to read through that entire list. Time well spent, to be completely honest with you.)

The thing with these books though – there were always tons of endings, and you never just read through them once. I know I would always leave my finger marking a page I wanted to go back to and see what would happen if I went the other direction. We always had to know what would happen if we’d done that other thing, and with these books, we always got to find out.


When you’re reading a Choose Your Own Adventure book, you aren’t “supposed” to pick going up the dark path into the forest over walking down to the haunted beach. You can do both. If one choice ends badly (in, say, a grisly death of some kind), you just go back to where you started and pick the other one.

What I realized tonight when I saw that tweet from Donald Miller is that I shouldn’t be upset with God for “letting” me move out here when that wasn’t what I was “supposed” to do with my life. I think this was just me holding my finger on that page. I picked “MOVE TO CALIFORNIA” to see what would happen. It didn’t work out the way I wanted to, so now I’m going back to “STAY IN COLORADO” and see where that leads me.

I think God lets us choose our own adventure not because he wants us to learn things the hard way, like I was sort of believing for a while, but because he doesn’t want us to have regrets. You try to do something, it doesn’t work out – it’s okay. There’s always another beginning.

It’s not about God having some set path that I am required to follow in order to properly fulfill his purpose for my life. God’s not so small that he can’t use me wherever I am, whatever I’m doing. Wherever I am, that’s where I’m “supposed” to be.

Actually, scratch that – there’s no such thing as supposed. There’s just alive. And that’s enough.

It’s so cool God lets us choose our own adventure.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Hey Kings: Your Fans Think You’re Boring

Tonight, I went to a Kings game. They lost 3-0 to the Oilers. I was bummed, because a) I wanted to hear their goal song, which doesn't happen when the home team gets shut out (maybe that’s obvious, but I’m sort of assuming you’re dumb) and b) the Oilers are in the Avalanche's division and I greatly dislike them because of that fact, and I prefer it when they lose. But oh well.

Anyway, this happened, and it was hilarious:


I know it was kind of a boring game if you’re a Kings fan, but really? Dozing off? His friend on the other side of him was falling asleep too. (For the record, I think they were drunk, so maybe that contributed.)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


There’s only ever one place we think of when we think of the word “home.” Anybody who disagrees is confused or lying. That’s what I think, at least.

I remember a few months into my freshman year of college, my friends in my dorm would refer to the dorm as “home,” and then marvel at that fact. “It really does feel like home now!” My outward reaction to this was mostly just laughter, while my inward reaction was just: No.

No, it doesn’t feel like home. It’s a dorm.

(Sorry, at Baylor they’re called “residence halls.” Sorry. I always forget.)

But it was A DORM. College dorms are gross, they’re full of germs, they’re loud and easy to get locked out of if you forget your ID card, and if you live in a dorm that happens to be in a place like Texas it probably has a lot of bugs in it (granted, that’s pretty much every building in Texas).

It never felt like home to me. That first dorm didn’t, the second dorm my sophomore year definitely didn’t, and neither did the two apartments I lived in after that.

Home was always in Colorado.

Then this summer, after spending a year in Colorado and falling in love with it again, I moved out to California, because it seemed like a good idea. You’re supposed to want to get away from home, right? To move away and create some kind of new home for yourself, build some kind of fulfilling existence on your own. That’s just what you do. And I thought I was supposed to do that in Los Angeles.

Well, in a perfect world I would have more time to do this out here, but this isn’t a perfect world, and I can’t find a job and I’m running out of money. And also, I just straight up kind of hate it here.

There, I said it.

I don’t like it here.

It took me a while but I finally came to the realization that when people would ask, “so how much are you LOVING living in LA?” the answer I always gave them was a lie. I don’t love it, at all, but I would tell them I did, because that’s the right answer.

It isn’t because California isn’t what I expected. It’s exactly what I expected. Trafficky, sunny and hot, lots of stuff to do, lots of stuff to look at, tons of rich people, tons of poor people, just tons of people in general, pretty dirty, there are beaches, there’s lots of good food.

All of that would be great if I still wanted to be here, if I was enjoying the pursuit of this TV writing dream I’ve held onto for so long. But this is the real reason I’m leaving: I let go of this dream a while ago. I just didn’t realize it. Now I’m here and I’m empty handed.

So I’m leaving. Because my dream is different now. And this dream is better, not just because it’s something I’m much more interested in, but it’s one that I can pursue in Colorado. And not only is Colorado just all around a better state to live in (all right, so I’m biased), my family is there. They anchor me, in more ways than one, and I can’t handle being away from them anymore.

Lots of people will probably read this and think I’m “giving up.” To you, I could say a lot of things. The PG, family-friendly version is: I don’t care what you think. My decisions are my own, and while this might look like I’m “running away” from something that was “too hard,” it doesn’t feel like that to me. I’m running towards something, something that’s finally going to make me happy, something I can do in the only home I’ve ever loved.

So that’s my big announcement. I’m going home. By January (possibly even sooner), I’ll be back in the one place I feel like I belong.

Picture courtesy of AEJMC on Flickr.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I Haven't Seen You Now For a While

I know it looks like I have forgotten about this blog, but I haven't. Here I am, updating it!

I haven't had a lot to talk about lately... well, that's not entirely true, but I haven't had anything going on that I wanted to talk about on here. I might have an update soon about my actual life. Until then, please enjoy this amazing song that I found last week and have already listened to more times than I've listened to any other song in my iTunes library.

(The sentiment of the song may or may not also serve as a clue as to what the update might be.)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

It’s My Fault You Had to Sleep On That Air Mattress, JML

Let me be clear: I am NOT a superstitious person. I don’t believe in lucky clothing or anything like that.

However. I blame myself for this.


This is the only sports-related thing I can ever remember being superstitious about. Let me explain now, with an unnecessarily long backstory.

I love hockey jerseys, and if I had an endless amount of cash to throw around, I am scared to think how many I would own.

My first jersey I got shortly after I became obsessed with hockey for the first time, which was in the fall of 2001. I had watched the Avs win the Stanley Cup that June and had become enamored. The following November, my dad came home one day and said he’d won two free Avs tickets in a raffle at his work. That was when it truly took hold.

That particular game (against the Wild, Avs won 1-0, one of Roy’s shutouts, Chris Drury scored the only goal in the first minute of the first period) was a “player pin night.” They were giving out little cards with a jersey shaped pin on them. It was Dan Hinote night. (Here's a picture of the card I got that I took today, because of course I still have it - OF COURSE.) I remember going up the escalator in the Pepsi Center atrium and saying to my dad, “this guy is going to be my favorite player.” Completely arbitrary at the time, but I committed to that statement the way most 14 year olds can’t commit to anything.

I asked for a Dan Hinote third jersey for Christmas – the old burgundy thirds – and got it. Over the next few years I received several other pieces of Hinote memorabilia as gifts, including a signed puck and a signed and framed picture. It got to be kind of a joke after a while, but I stand by my choice. Who among Avs fans would dare contradict my love for Danny Hinote? Nobody, that’s who. Guy was a role player for sure, but he brought a magic kind of heart to that locker room that hasn’t been easily replaced.

(He’s an assistant coach in Columbus now, and I am forever hopeful that one day he’ll work for the Avs in a coaching position. I’d happily wear my jersey again in his honor.)

After a while, I started itching for another jersey, because as I became more aware of how hockey worked, I started to realize that I had picked a guy to love that the casual hockey fan (i.e. the people I encountered in my daily life at that point in time) didn’t recognize. Peter Forsberg had finally returned after the spleen incident, and I finally got to see him play, and I finally learned that he lived up to the hype. And so it came to pass that I asked for, and got, a Forsberg jersey. It was a birthday or a Christmas present again (don’t recall which), and I loved it. One time I wore it to school, and someone gave me some free candy because I was wearing it. That really happened. (I also wore it to the game that happened February 14th, 2011… oh, the memories.)

I thought I was set, after that. I thought, surely, Forsberg will never leave! Even if Hinote does get traded or something, I’ll always have Foppa!

Ha ha ha ha!

eyes burning

Wow, that hurts to look at.

So… yeah, he left, and I remember listening to an interview on the radio where Forsberg was talking about how he was really going to miss Denver and all the fans there, and I told myself, “crying over hockey is stupid,” but I did it anyway.

(I know he came back twice. That doesn’t make it better.)

Not long after that, Hinote was gone too, and I was now the owner of a jersey of a guy on the Flyers and a guy on the Blues. I was sad. I thought, “I got the jerseys of these guys, and then they both left.” I started to get suspicious. A SUPERSTITION WAS BORN.

The only guy on the team at that point that I really wanted a jersey of was John-Michael Liles. I wanted it baaaaaaad. JML was a favorite of mine from day one of his rookie season. But I restrained myself. I told myself, “the second I get his jersey, he’ll get traded.” I can’t remember if the unceasing trade rumors involving him started before or after this belief of mine was formed, but I held fast.

This past season, after the Stewart-Shattenkirk trade that happened in the middle of the night during the worst week in Avalanche history, I was ruined. I woke up insanely early just to check Twitter and make sure JML hadn’t been traded while I was asleep. On the day of the trade deadline, I was sitting there tweeting and retweeting the #DontTradeLiles hashtag and refreshing my timeline feverishly for any news at all. And miraculously, Liles stayed an Av.

So I thought, like an IDIOT, that he was safe. That surely, SURELY we wouldn’t have gone through all of that if the team didn’t actually want him!

I have no idea why I thought that. None. Blind faith, I suppose, or maybe just blind love of the guy. But I decided my eight-year ban on getting something that said “Liles” on the back was over, and I went online and bought this:


It’s not even a real jersey. It’s a T-SHIRT. IT’S A SHERSEY.

But that’s all it took.

Two months later… JML was gone.

It’s my fault.

JML, if you ever see this… I’m so sorry. Especially about the air mattress and confusing Ikea furniture.

And I’m even more sorry about breaking this up.


I will never buy another jersey again.*

*This is a flat-out lie. I bought a Duchene jersey at the last game of the 10-11 season and I regret absolutely nothing. Mostly because I feel about as secure owning a Duchene jersey as I would have felt owning a Sakic jersey. Dude is an Avs lifer. They’d have to drag him out of Denver kicking and screaming if they wanted him gone.

**I bought a Liles Leafs shersey. Please don’t judge me. YOU CAN’T CHOOSE WHO YOU LOVE.

Friday, September 30, 2011

When Cookies Taste Like Medicine

I am one of those people who would be much more into healthy foods if they tasted better. So when I saw these, I was intrigued and decided to check them out.


Nutrition rich cookies? I am on board, theoretically! The box makes all sorts of exciting promises. Allegedly, each serving of three cookies contains:

- As much fiber as a bowl of oatmeal

- As much calcium and Vitamin D as an 8 oz. glass of milk

- As much Vitamin C as a cup of blueberries

- As much Vitamin A as an 8 oz. glass of tomato juice

- As much Iron as a cup of spinach

- As much Vitamin E as two cups of carrot juice

- As much Vitamin B12 as a cup of cottage cheese and fruit

Sounds great, right? And the whole premise of this cookie is that you get all of that, AND it tastes good! Just like a real cookie! WHO KNEW? (Hence their name, which I’m not mentioning in writing because I don’t want them to find me.)


Well, sorry to burst the bubble I just built for you, but these cookies are repulsive. And they taste like medicine. But because they have all this healthy stuff in them, I feel GUILTY throwing them away. So I just keep eating them. “Have you eaten your health cookies yet today, Sarah?” “No, but now I feel bad that I haven’t! Thanks for reminding me, inner self who won’t let me throw these disgusting things in the trash.”

Also, the packaging is terrible. Look at this nonsense:


WHY?????????????????????? First of all, I already hate it when the tray inside cookie boxes is wrapped up in plastic, but I realize it’s there to keep them fresh. I can appreciate that. It’s fine. But USUALLY the wrapping is not this inconvenient.


Yup, there they are! Way back there, where I can’t reach them without taking them out of the wrapper. But if I take them out of the wrapper I won’t be able to get it back in, because when you put the opening on the long side of the rectangle it is impossible to deal with. Maybe that sounds like a petty gripe, but it’s beyond annoying, okay? And when a cookie that already tastes like they come with a prescription has messy and irritating packaging, it’s just not worth it.

Look at how many I’ve eaten though. Pretty proud of myself for that!

Don’t buy these.

I’m going to Vegas tomorrow. We’ll talk about it later.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Presented Without Commentary

Because pictures like this speak louder than words.



Delicious mint chocolate chip cupcake courtesy of Crumbs Bake Shop.

Bergundy and Whyte Highlite

Wish I could have been there to see this happen live, but:

Everything about this video is awesome. I've watched it countless times since it got posted. Their reactions after the save are probably my favorite part – Varlamov is so pumped and Duchene just can't believe it.

Can the season just start now? 

Also, this happened:

But we’ll try not to hold it against anyone.

Monday, September 19, 2011

And Then We All Felt Sorry For Sarah


So that happened last week. $68 plus a $2 processing fee to pay online. I already said this on Twitter, but the person who came up with the concept of “processing fees” to pay for things online was clearly not a person at all but in fact one of Satan’s minions, and I’m sure he (or she) got the biggest promotion of all time after that presentation.

This ticket happened because I was parked on the street during the two hour span of time they were supposed to be street sweeping on Thursday morning. Guess what? I thought our street’s day was Tuesday. The other T day. I was mistaken. At least I wasn't alone. My car had a buddy right next to it with an identical piece of paper on the windshield.

Most interestingly, these parking tickets are much nicer than the parking tickets in Denver. They're printed on nicer paper and even have some color! That said, I infinitely prefer getting parking tickets in Denver, because those are only TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS. And I can’t be sure since it’s been a while, but I don’t recall a processing fee. Could be wrong there, though. Either way, I'd still rather pay $25 plus a $2 processing fee. I'm no math whiz here but that's still less than SEVENTY.

Denver doesn’t have street sweeping days either. You know why? Because Denver is CLEAN.

CORRECTION 9/25: Denver DOES have street sweeping days. I forgot about that and my friend Jenai reminded me of this. But they're once a month. NOT EVERY WEEK. Therefore I reiterate... LA is nasty and Denver isn't.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

This Blog Contains Nothing Too Dangerous, As Far As the State of California Knows

This week, I went to Ikea for the first time. There is an Ikea in Denver, but it decided to open a month after I moved away, so I have yet to experience that place. I anticipate that one being far superior to the one in Burbank.

Not that there’s anything wrong with the one here. Look at this picture of some sofa beds attached to the walls:


Sofa beds! Attached to the walls! Some of them have WHEELS!

And there was a jungle!


Oh man! Ikea! So great! I just love it!


“WARNING: This area contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and reproductive harm.”

……………Wait, what? WHAT?

I didn’t end up buying anything, but I might go back next week for a desk chair. Because after I saw the cancer sign, I just left and went to Target and got a desk there. And then I put it together myself, and I felt very capable.


See that desk? I built it WITH MY OWN HANDS out of the pieces that came in the box. And that’s my computer with Twitter pulled up, because I am what you might call a “Twitter-holic.” That means I drink a lot while I tweet… or something, I’m actually not totally sure if that’s the exact meaning.

Also… and way more importantly… this came in the mail this week.


The Avs and Kings play this game in Las Vegas every year (except for two times when the Kings played somebody else) and finally, finally, finally I live close enough that it’s reasonable for me to be able to go. Four hour drive? That’s nothing. I’ve driven sixteen hours in a day before, this will be cake. I am thrilled, because if my hockey friend out here hadn’t brought up driving together and splitting the cost of a hotel room, the next time I’d be seeing my Avs would be in December, when I go home for Christmas. And that is just intolerable.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have a post about that when I get back. I bet even I can find something interesting to talk about after a trip to Las Vegas.

FINALLY: Here’s my favorite song right now. Recommended via Twitter by this dude Tyler Bozak. He plays for the Maple Leafs but is a former University of Denver Pioneer, so he’s good people.

Swedish House Mafia – Save the World

This video is an exercise in total ridiculousness, but it has lots of cute dogs, so it doesn’t matter.

P.S., I don't know if anybody who reads this would be remotely interested, but hockey season is getting closer every day and I have started a separate blog to vent my feelings about the Avs. It's right here, and I also have a link to it in my sidebar. There are only three posts as of right now, but not for long, believe me. When it comes to hockey, I have all of the feelings. All of them.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

24, Like the Show

So do you guys like how I was all “hey everyone, I don’t have internet right now, be prepared for my blog to continue to be irrelevant” and then proceeded to update three days in a row? Yeah, well. Enjoy it while it lasts, because soon I will go back to taking my internet connection for granted.

Today is my birthday. I am 24. To celebrate, I’m going to write a self-indulgent blog post talking about things I like. So just like every other blog post, but more shameless.

1. Matt Duchene

MANNHEIM, GERMANY - MAY 8: Canada's Matt Duchene #92 answers questions from TSN reporter John Liu following his team's win over Italy at the 2010 IIHF World Championship. (Photo by Matthew Manor/HHOF-IIHF Images)

Look at that face. Impossible to dislike. Here’s another picture of him wearing his more correct jersey:

matty d

Not like it needs to be said, but I didn’t take these. I found them on the internet.

Here’s a picture of him I did take:

Footer's Last Stand 070

With bonus awkward Mark Olver in the background. There's more where that came from.

Matt Duchene is currently my favorite dude on the Avs, now that John-Michael Liles is a Leaf (UGH). Liles was my favorite from his rookie season and I’m still going to continue loving him playing for the Leafs but it will never be the same. So now, Dutchy here gets the majority of my love. He is the only one who continued to play like he genuinely cared at the end of the horrorshow that was last season, and that is why he is the best.

2. Baylor Football

I never really got into the football while I was there – the games are outside, and one of my least favorite things about going to college in Texas were the parts when I had to go outside. I was much more into the basketball while I was there, and I still love it best. However, this summer I watched Friday Night Lights all the way through for the first time and let’s just say it’s the kind of show that makes you love football in ways you never knew you could.

And then last night Baylor played TCU and got me a really awesome birthday present that they almost totally screwed up at the last second but then they didn’t. If you like underdogs… you probably like Baylor a lot right now.

It only has the cool things Baylor did, so it’s easier to pretend TCU didn’t have a ridiculous comeback to almost win in the end.

3. “Weird Electronica Indie Music”

According to Elizabeth, that’s what I like to listen to. I asked her what else I should put on this list, and she said that. I didn’t know what she meant so I showed her this video and she was like “um yes… exactly this.”

I just found out about Foster the People the other day and I’ve been listening to them a lot. I guess they are my "Weird Electronica Indie Band of the Moment.”

4. Grilled cheese sandwiches.


5. Leo and Pippin

I like cats. Here are two of the best cats ever:


Okay, that’s all. Happy birthday to me.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Hold on to That Feeling

I like sports. Hockey is my favorite, but I really enjoy sports and watching sports in person. Baseball is probably as close to the opposite of hockey as you can get in terms of the speed of the game, and yes, sometimes I find it boring, but in what has been a very long hockey offseason for me as an Avalanche fan (it started back in January), baseball has been a nice little distraction.

Granted, liking the Rockies hasn’t really given me much of a respite from watching a team that loses. But when I moved to LA, I tried to decide I was going to like a baseball team out here, and I couldn’t. If I’m going to become a fan of a sport, I’m going to become a fan of the Colorado team playing that sport, if there is one. That’s just how my brain is wired at this point.

Last Sunday I went to see the Rockies play at Dodger Stadium. Dodger Stadium is possibly the suckiest stadium of all time… not that I’ve been to many. I’ve been to three. Coors Field is, of course, beautiful, because a) you can (clearly) see mountains from it, b) it’s in a really great location in the middle of downtown Denver, and c) it’s in Colorado and is automatically going to be my favorite. I have also been to Petco Park in San Diego, and that ballpark is really nice, too. Good location, pretty views.

Dodger Stadium is on the top of a big hill in the middle of a park. Also, it’s old. Not to be stadium ageist, here, but I thought it showed. Petco Park opened in 2004, Coors Field in 1995. Dodger Stadium opened in 1962. And I mean, yeah, it’s cool that The Beatles played a concert there one time, as they continually reminded us during that game (it was that concert’s 45th anniversary), but The Beatles played a concert at the place where I graduated from high school, so I wasn’t really impressed by that.

The view here would be so awesome if it weren’t for the smog. There are mountains out there, hiding in the brown cloud:

rockies 004

We got there early, so it did fill up a little more than this. (Emphasis on “a little.”)

Okay, enough about how much I didn’t like the stadium, it’s kind of irrelevant anyway and I would really rather not have angry Dodgers fans coming after me if one should stumble upon this post.

The Rockies won 7-6 but the most important thing about this game was that Judge Judy threw out the first pitch.

rockies 030

Here is a picture of one of my two favorite Rockies players, catcher Chris Iannetta, hanging out in the dugout and not playing in this game.

rockies 034

My other favorite Rockie is rookie outfielder Charlie Blackmon, who is currently injured and has been riding around on a scooter because he can’t put weight on his foot. He has a hilarious twitter. Here it is.

Here’s a picture of Mr. Blackmon that I took at the Padres game, where he got his first ever MLB hit.


And now here’s a picture of him being relevant.


Anyway, he wasn’t playing Sunday. He was likely at home, tweeting about his beard and/or sideburns.

The actual best part about this game was the first half of the first inning, where the Rockies scored five runs thanks to the Dodgers’ incompetence. It was hilarious and I learned I enjoy it when the other team’s fans boo my team. (I don’t approve of booing your own team, no matter how sucky they’re playing – many other Avalanche fans disappointed me in this regard last season.)

The Rockies won despite the Dodgers’ comeback attempt, which was nice of them to do. Them winning made the sunburn worthwhile.

Catcher high fives after the win:

rockies 056

Catchers are my favorite. Probably because they remind me of hockey goalies.

And here is Rex Brothers with his Cinderella backpack.

rockies 027

I will leave you with this video. This guy does this at lots of Dodger games, and he was at this one. He was my other other favorite thing about that game.