Thursday, May 26, 2011

"Avalanche" Is A Pretty Cool Word, After All

So, because nothing has been going on... again... and I have no ideas for any posts... song of the week time again, and if you have some sort of problem with me posting two of these in a row, well, you can just leave! Nobody is making you look at my blog! The internet is a big place! Go look at something else, you jerk!

Avalanche City - Love Love Love


I'd describe Avalanche City as maybe a cross between The Decemberists and another band that isn't really pretentious and depressing all the time. Kinda folksy, fun, happy and romantic music that for some reason makes me feel the opposite of cynical about that kind of thing, which is extremely rare.

This video has penguins riding on a sled pulled by a polar bear. Then they get on a sailboat. They go to lots of places, and they fish. Then pirates come, and they fight! Oh ho, I bet you weren't expecting that! I don't know what these pirates think they're going to get from a tiny sailboat with two penguins on it, but whatever. The pirate punches one of the penguins. Yes, that is what I said. A pirate punches a penguin in this video. Then the penguin is in the water, apparently drowning... which... frankly... makes no sense at all... because penguins are great swimmers... everyone knows that... everyone, everywhere. I guess this guy didn't see March of the Penguins like the rest of us.

But then he gets rescued by a hipster Santa Claus guy with a zeppelin, revealing to us that this video takes place in an alternate universe, which maybe explains why the penguin can't swim. Santa takes the penguin back to the pirate ship, and then the penguin totally kills all the pirates by swinging Tarzan-style and kicking them all off into the water, which isn't realistic at all. Then he rescues the girl penguin (you know it's the girl because she's smaller, that's how these things work), who is tied to the mast for some reason, which seems like animal abuse to me. Then they live happily ever after, or something. The ending isn't really clear. They hug, which penguins totally don't do in real life, but whatever, and then they're on the pirate ship, and Hipster Santa is hovering in his zeppelin. So either they go off on some adventures with Hipster Santa, or they steal the pirate ship and become pirate penguins. It is up to you, the viewer, to decide what happens. It's one of those open ended stories, like Donnie Darko.

By the way, the guy is saying "I heard your heart say love, love, love," not "I heard your hat." I realize it sounds like hat, but he's from New Zealand, and I've seen enough Flight of the Conchords to know that's how they talk. Basically I'm an expert, so do not question me.

And NO, I did not only give this one-man band a chance because the word "avalanche" is in the name. That is absurd. That'd be like saying I only bought a drink at a coffee place called an Avalanche because it was called an Avalanche, and I've never done that, twice. But anyway, that's not what happened. A friend told me about them, and SHE'S the one who only started listening to them because the word "avalanche" was in the name. So I'm exempt from that this time.

Avalanche City also has this other song called "You & I" that's pretty cute and features the line, "if you were addicted to fabric, you could fill a whole room in our house." Which seems really specific to me. That same song also has a line that goes, "If you were a supermodel, I would help you lift your bags," which I think could be an indictment of the fact that supermodels are generally very thin and don't eat enough to be strong enough to perform simple tasks such as lifting a bag, and are forced into eating disorders by a terrible industry that is responsible for a lot of the self-image issues our society faces, making girls everywhere feel like they have to live up to a beauty standard that is not realistic or reasonable or healthy at all. But I might be reading into it a little.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Song of This Week

What was that? "Sarah, you can't just post your song of the week post on any random day of the week! You said they were on Fridays!" But... why would I want to limit myself by forcing myself into a blogging schedule? I won't do it. I won't! I REFUSE TO STIFLE MY CREATIVITY WITH YOUR FASCIST "SCHEDULES." DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!!!!1

Anyway, The Lonely Island came out with a new album recently and this is hands down the best song on it (though it may be tied with The Creep).

The Lonely Island - Japan


No video for it yet, which... you'll see why when you listen to it.

In the Interest of Full Disclosure

I'm starting to have some fits of confusion when it comes to this whole moving thing. Most of the time, I'm just excited, but sometimes, I'm really scared. And other times, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, or if I'm going to end up regretting it. Just being honest.

I highly doubt I'll regret doing it, but sometimes I regret where I went to college. So. That's kind of awkward. I met a lot of great people there, and I figured a lot of things out about myself there, but... I can't help wondering if I wouldn't have enjoyed myself better at a different school. Just being honest! If I can't be honest on my blog then WHERE CAN I?!

But anyway - I'm having all these crisis feelings. The other day I spent a good ten minutes looking at Rockies shirts at the mall, imagining myself going to Rockies games in California wearing one of them. This is confusing, because I am not exactly what you would call a person who likes any sport that takes place outside. There's really not any room in the portion of my heart dedicated to sports for anything that isn't hockey, or any team that isn't the Avalanche. But there I was, thinking about dropping 25 big ones on a Tulo shersey, thinking, "I do look great in purple," looking up on my phone what the "Blake Street Bombers" are because that was not something I'd ever heard of before I saw it on a shirt... then I came to my senses and removed myself from the situation as quickly as possible before I did something stupid.

Instead of getting a Rockies shirt, I wound up at the Colorado souvenir shop, where I got two Colorado flag t-shirts and a poster of Denver. None of this I regret. This, I believe, is a better place to direct my Colorado Feelings, because that's really what it is. I'm going to miss everything about this place. I may have spent most of my life in Texas (the first ten years, plus four years of college), but I spent all the important and most formative years here, in Colorado.

Today I went downtown and just walked around. Denver is really a great city, but I haven't actually spent that much time there. I plan to remedy this during my last three weeks before the move. (Countdown to June 4th starts... now.)

It was seriously beautiful today. One of those days where you can either wear a warm jacket or a t-shirt and shorts and be comfortable either way. Kinda chilly in the shade, but it was gorgeous. Which is great, because my little weather widget on my desktop informed me that it was supposed to be stormy today. It says that about tomorrow and the rest of this week, so I'm guessing maybe more trips like this might not be happening until it gets nice again. Then again it was wrong about today, so... but we'll see. Not that you care.

I always take the Light Rail when I go downtown for enjoyment purposes (so, not for work). Which, before today, was only for Avalanche games. I like riding the train because there are lots of interesting people on it. Today, on the way there, a girl yelled at someone on her phone and then dramatically hung on up on them. On the way home, I saw a guy carrying a huge trophy.

mountainslightrail

Everything was so hazy today. Check out this picture of the mountains. You can barely see them. The Denver skyline was like that too. Gross.

ink coffee
I went to this coffee place on 16th Street called Ink! and I loved it. They have the best cupholders, as you can see. Also, this drink was called an Avalanche. Just throwing that out there. It was delicious and made of Ink! coffee, espresso, white chocolate and milk. While I was sitting there drinking this, a nice monk came up and tried to give me a copy of the Bhagavad-Gita.

streetperformers

One of several street bands/performers I saw on 16th. This one had a sign that said they were called The Lost Dog. One of the lyrics I heard as I walked by was, "Most humans make me want to die." I think the next part went something like, "but you don't," but I can't remember the exact words. Accordion lady was just hanging out.

unionstation

Of course the flag decided to stop blowing in the wind and chill by the pole right when I got the camera ready. Still, Union Station is pretty cool, right? Travel by train.

coorsfield

Speaking of the Rockies. Since we're being honest, I'm going to say that I do want to go to a Rockies game before I leave. Look, this hockey withdrawal thing is not something I'm really handling well, okay? I need SOMETHING. Baseball doesn't interest me that much but I'm willing to give it a chance, just in case it will grab me in a way it hasn't before.

hayters

This is probably a pretty fun place to watch sports. Hayter's gonna hate.

chopperssign

You know, because of that nutjob who says the world is going to end on May 21. Heads up, there.

On the way home, my left arm got sunburned because of the way I was sitting on the train. Next time I will have to sit that way on the other side, so I don't have a bizarre and uneven tan. I'm not generally interested in dealing with tanning of any kind, which is usually why I stay inside all the time, but nature has forced my hand. Come to me, aloe vera.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Song of Last Week

So I forgot to post one of these on Friday, because my laptop is broken. This has never happened to me before, usually my sister is the one with the issues with computers and iPods and things, but my luck ran out, I suppose. Anyway, two weeks to fix it. Two weeks. Good thing I have a job with a computer and internet, am I right? And good thing I'm getting paid to update my blog from there instead of to do actual work.

Anyway, here's a song that I heard yesterday for the first time. IT DOESN'T GET MORE CURRENT THAN THAT.

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals - Paris (Ooh La La)


This is one of those boring videos where they take a bunch of uninteresting footage of a bunch of hipsters walking around getting dressed and try to force it to be interesting by putting it in black and white. I didn't even watch the whole thing. I guess there's some dancing in there, but it's nothing special. The song, however, is good. So have a listen.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dear Future Boyfriend(s) I WILL Meet In California, Or Else

Hey dude(s). Look, I've been single for a long time. I won't say how long, but it has pretty much been for the past all years of my life. I know that's surprising, because I'm so charming and funny. But sooner or later, something's gotta give.

Basically, I'm expecting there to be a million of you. Otherwise, someone's gonna pay.

To save both of us time, I have come up with a list of boyfriend requirements. Unless you are willing to meet all of these, it's just not going to work out.*


Boyfriend Requirements
1. Must like cats, or at least not hate them. Sorry, but Leo was in my life before you, so Leo and I are making room for you, not you and me making room for a cat I already have. Also, I don't care if you think you hate cats, you will not hate my cat, because my cat, as I have said before, is the most awesome cat in existence.

2. I don't care if we like the same music or not, but if you judge me for loving Lady Gaga and Britney Spears, we're breaking up. Hipster music snobs need not apply.

3. Must tolerate my obsessions. Specifically, the ones I have with hockey and Doctor Who (and sci-fi in general). A million bonus points if you share in these obsessions with me. Canucks and Red Wings fans need not apply. (Please note, you WILL be required to win my heart away from the majority of the Avalanche roster, so prepare yourself for that.)

4. Must be willing to kiss me on the mouth even when I have both of my retainers in at night.

Addendum to number 4: Must be able to notice when I am clenching my jaw and tell me to stop, so I don't grind my teeth away into tiny nubs before I'm 30.

Addendum to the addendum to number 4: Must still be willing to kiss me after I put in the false teeth I get after I grind my teeth into tiny nubs before I am 30.

5. Must be willing to eat lots of grilled cheese sandwiches, because I don't really know how to make anything else.

6. I can also make popcorn and toast.

7. I'm not saying I will dump you if you try to serenade me in public, but I am saying that I will probably dump you if you try to serenade me in public.

8. Must love naps.

9. Must not think pale people are gross, though I guess you probably wouldn't be interested in me in the first place if you thought this so never mind. But for real, don't try to change me, bro.

10. ABSOLUTELY MUST be willing to kill bees, wasps, or other terrifying stinging horrorshow insects that come into the house. I have vanquished everything from spiders to monster cockroaches on my own but look, those things don't fly and sting. When a thing that can fly and sting comes into the house, I hide myself AND my cat from it. I lock us away until the danger has passed (i.e. until someone else gets it). THIS ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT AND I CANNOT STRESS IT ENOUGH.

That's pretty much it. Seems reasonable to me.

*I reserve the right to change my mind about any or all of these if:
a) You look like Zachary Levi,
b) You ARE Zachary Levi,
c) You can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs,
or
d) I feel like it.

BONUS LIST!
Comments I expect to get on this post:
"Don't worry Sarah! It'll happen when it happens!"
"God has the perfect guy for you!"
"You're right Sarah, I was going to leave that comment! Because it's true!"
"Hey, I have Zachary Levi's phone number! Here it is!"
"ur blog sux u need 2 get a lyfe"
"hey stupid parsecs are a unit of distance not time, do ur research idiot"