So… that was an unintentional month off of blogging. I mean, I thought about blogging pretty frequently during that time but I just never felt the inclination to write anything. And I didn’t have anything interesting to say anyway, so. But that has changed! Kind of. I guess whether or not this is interesting to people besides my immediate family is somewhat subjective, but: I got a job. Yes. I did.
What I’ve come to realize over the past couple weeks is that it’s really, really hard to get your dream job. Everybody has something they want to be doing and then there’s the thing they’re doing in the meantime. This job that I have right now is definitely a “meantime” type of job. My last job was also a “meantime” job, and I hated that about it. There were other problems with that position – it wasn’t full time or reliable at all – but the biggest issue I had was that I felt like I wasn’t really contributing to making the world a better place. And maybe this is selfish of me to say, I don’t know (or care), but I didn’t feel like it was making me a better person either. Every day felt like a waste of time. Every day I dreaded going in, dreading talking to the majority of the people there. Every day I left feeling relieved and freed.
So far, two weeks in, I haven’t encountered any of those feelings at my new job. Granted, I’ve just been in training, and I haven’t spent a great deal of time yet actually doing the thing I was hired to do, so my perspective might change eventually. But at this point, what I’ve felt is just happiness. Happiness because I have a job again where I feel like I’m contributing to some kind of bigger picture (even if it is the big picture of a big corporation), happiness because I’m getting paid, because I’m full time, because I get benefits. Happiness because I’ve met a lot of people I really like.
I mean, I’m making friends. I’m meeting people I would actually enjoy spending time with outside of work. That is a revolutionary concept for me. I have never wanted to hang out with my co-workers! Okay, that’s not true – I met someone I’m still really close with at my last job. I hung out with her last night, in fact. But she is the only exception I’ve had up until now. I’ve complained a lot in the last few months about how difficult it is to make friends post-college and well, here I am, interacting with people at my workplace that I don’t plan to hide from if I accidentally run into them in real life. This is major progress.
I don’t know if I’ll be making the world a better place in this job. Realistically, I probably won’t be. But I think it’s helping me feel more comfortable in my own skin. And I think that’s good enough. I’ve laughed with these people a lot in the past fourteen days and frankly, the more laughter there is in the world, the nicer a place it is.
Is this job my dream job? No. Do I want to have it long term? Unequivocally, no. But I don’t hate it. I don’t hate the people. I have fun when I go to work. I like going. I don’t sit around counting down the seconds until I get to go back or anything, but being there feels right. I waited a long time to hear back from them (applied in April, started this month) but the wait seems like it was worth it. I’m going to be able to get my own place in a few months because of this job. This job is going to look awesome on my resume. I feel like my future has an actual direction now that I have this job. It’s great.
It’s fantastic, actually.