Friday, February 7, 2014

Under the Gunn: Vampires, Tornadoes and Voodoo Priestesses

Under the Gunn is hilarious. I am loving this show more every week. This is the first time I paid attention to the James Bond homage that is the opening credits, and I love it. This week's episode is called "Unconventional Vampire," and they start out in a spooky cemetery looking place with a bunch of ridiculous dramatic music. Now Sarah Hyland from Modern Family appears. Because she's in that Vampire Academy movie? I guess that makes sense, because we can't have a TV show on Lifetime that isn't also a giant advertisement.

Apparently they are supposed to take inspiration from the "vampire land" that they've created for them, a bunch of like coffins and chains and I don't even know what. A bunch of bolts of fabric just lying around.

"This is so up your alley," the guy who looks like taller Justin Bieber tells someone (I think his name is Sam). I don't know what kind of person would take "you like making weird vampire clothes" as a compliment, but apparently that is the person this girl is because she says "Oh yeah, I think it was like just what I needed." She says she is using "glitter branches" because she "was really inspired by the trees in the night."

Isabelle is my favorite. She is the one whose outfit my friend was obsessing over the other week. She also is crazy and says the weirdest things and pretty much I hope she wins just so she is on this show as long as possible. "I have no clue what I'm going to do. I just decided to let the materials speak to me. I'm just thinking about tornadoes, and things like that are scary." I love her.

Mentor the mentors time with Tim. Nick says he is going to make a conscious decision not to be so interfering with his contestants' designs, which is good considering he basically made that one girl's dress and it was not great. Okay, I have nothing against Nick, but I'm confused why he's a mentor. Mondo and Anya, whatever you think about them, both won either their season or an All Star season. Nick... I don't think he even made it to fashion week. NOT THAT I COULD DO BETTER I'm just saying, they could have gotten someone else who would have been just as entertaining. Like, say, Christian Siriano. Or someone like that.

Tim tells Mondo he needs to be more critical instead of just being emotionally supportive. Tim tells Anya she doesn't have to change anything.

Critiques with the designers! "I wanted to kind of do this tribal voodoo priestess kind of idea," Asha says. O...kay. Mondo tells her so far it looks sloppy. Asha is now frustrated because she's been working on something ugly. It sounds like she is resenting Mondo for telling her the truth. Mondo in general seems to be pretty "blah" about this challenge and you can see him in basically all three of his critiques going "thank God I don't have to do this."

This guy on Anya's team is making a motorcycle jacket that is either going to be hideous or awesome. Anya gives him some really good advice about imagining your ideal client at age 35 so you don't skew your clothes too young-looking and then Tim says in voiceover how great she is at being a mentor. Anya is apparently good at everything she attempts. This other guy on her team is making a really ugly dress with chains that are PLASTIC hanging off the back and somehow Tim and Anya are like... in love with it. Tim goes, "it's rich." WHAT??? Tim. COME ON.

Nick has the weirdest people on his team, which for THAT I definitely appreciate him. This guy Oscar is making a "pop rock vampire" look. Nick says it looks like a Rihanna concert and Tim says it looks "matador." Isabelle has no idea what she's doing, still, and Nick and Tim are like "...." She has nothing to show them. "Nick is talking, I can't really concentrate... We're not flowing in the same ocean." Isabelle, don't you dare fail on me, I need you to not get eliminated please. During the model fittings she has a gross skirt made and Nick is like "this makes her hips look big, no one wants that" and Isabelle is like "but this is my signature look, this is what makes the dress." Nick: "......................." Isabelle's days are numbered and I am heartbroken.

Here comes some fabricated drama between Michelle and Asha. Michelle is like "this is kind of cute... not the best thing you've ever made" and Asha's like "ummmmmmmmm well I actually really love it so go away." Except she probably doesn't really "love" it, she's just pissed. Meanwhile Michelle's dress looks very spider queen, so maybe she shouldn't talk.

"Use the Francesca's accessory wall very thoughtfully." I would steal everything on the Francesca's accessory wall. I love the Francesca's accessory wall.

Isabelle wants to remake her dress again. Blake is like "it's too late." Which it is. The runway is in an hour. Get it together, Isabelle. Then they have to go to the runway and Tim literally has to tell her to stop running with scissors. Then he's like "NO. ISABELLE, NO. NO! NO!" which is probably what it sounds like when Tim yells at his dog for pooping in the house.

The designers getting critiqued on the runway today: Oscar, Isabelle (NOOOO), Nicholas, Brady, Asha, and Michelle.

Oscar: "My inspiration was blood orthodox Jewish vampire." Um, okay. The judges really like his outfit. Oscar apparently finished his well-made outfit early and swept the workroom and helped other people with his free time.

Brady: His outfit is inspired by someone's vampire mom who is dropping their vampire daughter off at vampire academy. Translates as "boring." The judges hate it. The motorcycle jacket looks fine except he sewed "fangs" into the shoulders which makes it hideous. Maybe he will take the fall instead of Isabelle with producer intervention.

Asha: Reiterates her voodoo priestess idea. The judges love it. It does look pretty cool.

Nicholas: That thing with the chains on it. Hahaha, they hate it. I feel vindicated for hating it the first time.

Isabelle: I have no idea how to describe what she made but they say it looks like "Lady Gaga but not like in the good way." "I wanted to have fun," Isabelle says. They think the dress underneath is "superbly well made" but the red "inflatable" thing around it is ugly. Nick says "None of this is my fault, I am SORRY."

Michelle: "I really wanted to make her into a creature of the night." The judges love it. "I'm obsessed with this, it's like a work of art," says the girl from Vampire Academy. The Marie Clare lady says the neck piece looks like an "old Christmas decoration" and everyone else is scandalized. The other lady says it has a "nymphy feel." Okay.

Asha or Michelle is going to win, so I guess why they pulled in that fake drama from earlier between them. Brady or Nicholas is getting eliminated and since they're both on Anya's team, they're letting Anya pick who goes home. SOMEHOW ISABELLE IS SAFE. They're like "you didn't do great but at least you were creative." WORKS FOR ME.

Anya sends Brady home. This is what you get for sewing fangs into a jacket. Although this is probably Anya's fault for giving him advice that backfired. Michelle wins with her old Christmas decoration neck piece. Boring. Next week, Isabelle is still causing drama, so it's going to be awesome.

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